Choice
by koralina
Summary: My view on the post Incident time: Juliet is alive and James has strange dreams.
1. Chapter 1

Flash! Bright light! Son of a b**ch, again!

James found himself lying in jungle. Obviously Jack's plan failed. Sh**! They remained on the damn island. And he lost her for ever.

Sh**! Sh**! Sh**!

If there was anyone near him he probably would have torn whoever it was into pieces. But there were only trees ignorant of his desperation, anger and pain. He could beat them the whole day but he knew it wouldn't help; it didn't make the pain any easier. And he burst out crying. Damn the idea men shouldn't cry. There is no one for him to be strong and optimistic. She's gone.

Suddenly he hears a low cough from behind. Turning he sees Locke staring at him with his usual devilish smile and knife in hand.

-What do you want? - He asked and only then he realized the entire absurdity of the situation. Jack had said that Locke killed himself. He had no reason to lie. And James was sure Locke hasn't been able to falsify his own death. James closed eyes and opened them again. Locke remained staying in front of him.

-I understand you're surprised to see me but we have no time for this. -Locke said.-I'm here to tell you that all that happened with you and Juliet was only a warning.-

James wasn't ready to hear those words. He didn't want to hear about fate and island stuff anymore, especially now that she was dead.

-What the hell are you saying? Don't you dare talk about her!-he growled.

-You think she is dead but you are wrong- Locke answered in a calm voice.-When you'll wake up from this dream she will be with you again. But don't cherish vain hopes. You are not supposed to be with her, you are not supposed to be with anyone because you belong to the Island. He chose you. He gave you all you wished. Now it is time to pay. Earlier or later you'll accept it. The question is just can Juliet live that long? I'll give you some time to think. But don't be long. I'll be waiting for you at the place where you avenged yourself. - And after these words, Lock disappeared.

-Sawyer! Sawyer! - Somebody called him. James reluctantly opened eyes. Kate bent beside him and touched his arm.

-Finally you woke up. You made us worry. - She told him with a weak smile.

He just shrugged. Why should he think about her worries? He'd rather understand what he has seen. Was it a dream? And what does it mean?

What he heard then made him forget about Locke and all his warnings.

-James- it was barely a whisper but for him it was a sweetest sound in the entire world.

She is alive! And she's calling him!

-Juliet- he rushed toward her voice. He desperately wished it to be real not just him hearing things. He found her lying in bushes bruised and covered in blood. But nevertheless she is alive. It's all that mattered to him now. He knelt beside her wanting to touch her, hug her, kiss her and never let go. But he feared it will hurt her, so instead he called Jack and left them alone.

-Please be all right. I can't lose you again- He whispered while Jack examined her.

Ten minutes later he starts worrying. Where is Jack? Why was it taking so long for him to come back?

-It will be alright. She is alive. Doc is treating all her wounds. That's all. - He tried to reassure himself. But with every passing minute it became harder to believe in. And when he was ready to find out what's happening, Jack finally appeared. He is half shocked and then it hit him. Something must be terribly wrong with Juliet.

-What's up with her? – He forces himself to ask.

-She's alright. And it's very strange after all that happened to her but there are only a few bruises…- Jack kept talking to James but he was already running away. He had to see that she was alright. That this isn't damn dream.

She sat under the tree, eyes half closed. But when she heard him coming she tried to stand up.

-No, no. Doc said you needed rest. If you want something, just tell me. - He told her kneeling beside her.

-I already have all I need- was her answer. She smiles at him and comes closer to touch him, and kiss him. He doesn't resist. It was so good to have her with him again, to feel her, to see her. And never let her leave.

-I love you so much- He whispered to her ear, continuing kissing her neck.

And then the world around them disappeared. There was only them holding each other and kissing as if were the last seconds of their lives. It's not that they ever needed passion in their relationship. But now after almost losing each other they desperately needed to be as close as possible. And when they finally were ready to stop and give themselves some rest it appeared to be night time.

-Forgive me. I ...-

-Shhhhh- she silenced him.-It's not your fault–

-But I made you doubt me. You mean so much to me...- He trailed off not knowing what else to say or how to explain his feelings towards her.

-I know. Sorry that I put you through all of this.-

-It's alright, Blondie-He tries to smile and make it easier-Just don't do this again-

She nods and cuddles in his arms using his chest as a pillow.

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**A/N**: Let me know what you think. Should I continue writing the story?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thank you for your reviews. It's good to know that you will read it. Please review, I'd like to know what you think about :)

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James awoke because of a strange feeling of danger. Life here made him believe in such feelings. But now he doesn't understand the cause of his fear. The night is calm and quiet. Juliet was asleep near him. He thought about waking her but decided against it. This day was already hard enough for her. So he stood up slowly so as not to not disturb her and went around the camp. There was nothing moving. Everybody was sleeping. The silence of night assured him that there were only his fears and nothing more.

But then he heard a strange sound. It was so familiar. It was… It hit him. The smoke monster! And the sound came from the direction where Juliet was. No! He rushed back but before he had a chance to reach her he saw it. The large black cloud came from the trees, grabbed her and pulled away through jungle. He tried to save her, tried to chase the monster down. But he failed.

He was in the jungle alone. And he didn't know where to start looking for her. He ran between trees in desperation without direction but not wishing to give up.

-Juliet! Juliet! - He called her but there was no answer. Just then that he saw something light colored in front of him.

-Juliet- He tried to reach her but Lock was in his way.

-As I've said before, you are not supposed to be together. Try to stay with her and you'll see her death.-

James woke up. Juliet lay near him with obvious worry on her face.

-Are you alright? You were shaking. Maybe I have to ask Jack to see you, too.-

He doesn't know what he should say. He doesn't know whether he's asleep or not. Maybe he'd lost his mind. Maybe she's right and he should go to Jack. But again maybe it was all real. May be it was a warning. Then again, he didn't want to risk Juliet's life. Maybe… He was tired of all these mind games. Now was the wrong time for all this bullsh**.

-Ain't thinking he is a specialist in nightmares. - He joked.-Don't worry. It's not my first hard night. I'll survive. All I need is time.-

She didn't argue but he could tell she wasn't agreeing with his decision. But she was quiet and he was glad about it because he didn't want to lie to her and he had no strength to explain the truth now. They spent the rest of the night in the silence, each in their own thoughts.

The new day presented new problems, leaving no time for nightmares. Sometime during the day James doubted the reality of the warning. Maybe it was nothing more than his fear of losing her. Maybe he should forget it and enjoy life with her. She was here, alive and almost healthy. And he pushed away all his doubts and fears. He preferred to be with her and to care about her instead of thinking about those crazy dreams. One more day and he'd tell her everything.

James was awake and alone. He was in an unfamiliar place. He didn't know how he got there. It was a cave with many tunnels. It was hard to choose which one led to the exit. He tried to enter the nearest one and saw Locke.

-It's you again- He wasn't surprised only tired of all those strange dreams and meetings with John. Why couldn't they just let him have some rest?-Where am I? What do you want from me?-

-Don't doubt my warnings. - As always Locke didn't take into account James' questions.

-If you don't mind I'll give you some advice. Don't waste your time. Choose now before it's too late- Then Locke disappeared.

-Great! And how am I supposed to get out of here- James muttered.

There were shots outside and he ran towards the sound. His friends and Others stood there with guns aimed at each other. But only one person was on the ground between them. He already knew who was there. Juliet! Again she was dead!

He woke up. Juliet was with him but it changed nothing. He had no doubts now. Someone was making him join Locke by blackmailing him. And he had no choice. There was no pain or desperation now. He just accepted his fate. He had to follow Lock, he has to obey or she'll die. And he couldn't let that happen. He preferred to leave her, alive, instead of lose her because of their life together.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: It's nice to read all your reviews. Sorry that this chapter is so short. Next one will be longer.

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Juliet opened her eyes, she was distracted. Where is she? She was used to waking up in the bed in their little yellow house, but now she was in jungle and James wasn't anywhere around. Then her memory returned with all the awful events of last days: They got on the sub. She hit the bomb. She found him again.

But where is he? Why did he leave her alone? Her panic increased. Whether their reunion, even their life, was only a dream. May be she was still one of Others. Then she heard some voices. If she heard right it was Miles and Hurley. They discussed time-traveling theory. She smiled. They fit each other so well.

She went toward them hoping that James is somewhere near. But he wasn't.

-Last times I saw him he was going to come to the river. Everything alright? - Miles said.

-Of course – she just shrugged and went in the direction he pointed.

A few minutes later she saw some motion between the trees. Confident, she increased her pace and appeared at the river bank. James was here. His canteen lay on the rocks and he… He was kissing Kate!

It was worse than she could imagine. She was frightened when Kate returned to the Island. But even then she believed he would never cheat on her. Maybe he'd stay with her only because of his loyalty but she was sure he'd never betray her. Nevertheless there were no doubts about what she has seeing now. They kissed right in front of her. He did it after all words of love. Juliet felt an urgency to run away, the further the better. She tried to leave unnoticed but a twig cracked under her foot. It was enough to attract their attention. Their reaction spoke better than any words. Kate ran away unable to see at Juliet. On the contrary, James didn't move and just looked at her. His eyes were full of pain and guilt and she felt sick. All she wished was leave away without words and awkward explanations.

-Why? - That was all she forced herself to say, trying to remain cool. She wanted to yell at him, to beat him, to hurt him as he did to her, but she just stayed there and waited for his answer.

-I didn't want it happen this way. I'm sorry. I should have said it myself.-

She looked at him and tried to understand. How could she be so wrong? She was sure of his feelings for her. At least she thought she would be able to know when he was telling her the truth. It appeared she was wrong, because he was sincere with her yesterday, but what does that mean now, after the kiss? She's alone again.

-Forgive me, but I can't do it a different way. Hope you'll find your happiness with someone else.-

-Don't dare do this! – She slapped him – Don't pretend to be damn hero. After all, you even can't even find the strength in yourself to tell me how you feel.-She almost yelled. - Fooled myself, shouldn't have expected anything from the con artist.-

After that she turned and ran away. He won't see her crying. She's strong enough to hold it in. She can live without love. Some people are just supposed to be alone.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thanks for all your encouraging reviews. Special thanks to eyeon. You help me so much, I appreciate it. Here is the long chapter. Enjoy! :) And of course review, please.

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-Sorry- He whispered watching the love of his life disappear into the jungle. –Good bye-

There was no reason to come back to the camp, so he took his canteen and went to the Black Rock. He's paying no attention to his surroundings captivated by morning's events. He recalled them step by step. How he left Juliet asleep. How he let Kate notice him. How they met at the river and he told her that he should leave. How he asked her to stay with Juliet until his return. How she kissed him at parting and how Juliet came out in that exact moment. All his words were true. He planned to tell her in another way and he was truly sorry for putting her through all of this but he had no choice. She'd never let him join Locke. So it was the only way, which he knew so well – offend her so much she'd never want to see him again. It was a hard decision especially now when she dared to believe in their future but he had to do this. He had to save her. He was aware that it would be painful, but didn't expect it to be this painful. Seeing her yelling, almost crying tore his heart out. His soul desperately wished to follow her, to tell her the truth, to assure her in his love, but he couldn't do that

Finally he reached the ship, but there was no one around. Damn Lock! Where was he? If he wasn't here he promised to find him and kill with his bare hands. James walked around the ship. Yet there were no signs of Locke's presence. Wait a minute. He had already dead. Why should he be here? Damn dreams!

He was going to look for Locke inside the ship but if he wasn't there… James didn't know what he would do then. It appeared he gave his whole life for nothing. James saw Locke. He sat on a box near the wall. Maybe the same box he sat on after Locke close him with the real Sawyer. James felt sick. He didn't realize before how hard it would be to come back here. Here he killed a man. Here he eventually became a murderer. He hoped then it would make his inner pain easier, but instead his hate for himself only increased.

-Hello, James. Glad to see you here-

James forced himself to return from his memories and concentrate on the man in front of him.

-As if I had choice? As if it wasn't you threatening Juliet's life?-

-Oh, no! - Locke stood up and came closer-I never threatened Juliet. I just showed you the consequences of your decision. It was a matter of fact. You can't be with anyone except for the Island and –Locke winked him-I'm sure deep in your gut you always knew it-

James hated him so much. He hated his calmness and his smile. He hated all these talks about fate, but Locke was right. It was his main fear. All his life he was frightened to lose the people he loved. It was what caused him to push away everybody he knew. He ran away to keep himself from hurting himself and hurt somebody, but during the last 3 years, he started believe that he eventually could be happy and stop running. He appeared to be wrong.

-It means now, when I came to you, she is out of danger? - He asked hoarsely.

A mischievous grin appeared on Locke's face as if James missed something important.

-No, I've never told you anything like that. Even you joining me can't save her.-

James stood shocked by Locke's words. What was this all about? Was this some cruel joke? Did he really mean that even now Juliet would be killed by the Island?

-Sooner or later all of us will die. - Locke continued ignoring James confusion.-But! I can guarantee you that she will live on her own, without interruption from the outside. Whether her death will be from old age or by polar bear, it will be only her fate.-

James was out of words. Now he realized that Locke really didn't promise him a happy ending for Juliet, he promised only what he just said. Was it enough for James? Of course, not, it wasn't. Could he get anything more from Locke? Again no, he couldn't. All he could do now was hope.

-What's next? - James asked roughly.-My heart will be taken from my chest and given to the polar bear or what? - He tried to be sarcastic.

-Don't be so ridiculous- Locke frowned. – There will be nothing like that. I told you the Island chose you. But I didn't mean it chose you for sacrifice. No! In that case it'd never give you what he gave.-

-And what did he give me? - James growled. –I was tortured here. I buried my friends. I was nearly killed. Is that was what it gave me?-

Locke seemed to be tired of their conversation as if he was triing to explain something to a child.

-Ok, you are right, but look at it from another angle. You survived in a plane crash. How many people can say the same? You survived an explosion, a gun shot, and fever. All your wounds healed quickly. Is that enough for you? - Locke paused giving him time to think about.-Think about friends you've found and about revenge you got. You really thought that Sawyer's presence was only a coincidence? It was a gift.-

-Ok. Let's pretend I believed in all this stuff. What should I do now? –

He could tell Locke what he thought about him and his mind games, but there was no sense in it. Both of them knew he had no choice. So it was time to finish talking.

-It's easier than you can imagine- Locke brightened-All you need is the opening to the Island.-

-What? - James choked.-I have to eat a handful of the ground or are you going to bury me alive?-

-No! - Locke sighed -The Island is more than part of the land. This place… It's alive. I looked in its soul and it was wonderful.-

James kept silent. Lock was crazy and soon he would become crazy too.

-Don't worry. I'll help you. I'll show you how to do it. - Locke assured him.

-Stop there Johnny! If you know how to do it why wouldn't you do all yourself?-James asked. –The Island gave you more than me: your legs, your father's death. Maybe it was your gift not mine.-

-You are right James. I should do this, I want to do this, but I can't. I'm dead. Ben killed me and now I'm just a translator of Island will.-

-Ben killed you? - James repeated unable to grasp it.

-Guess we understood each other. Let's go. Let's not waste time. - Locke continued. –You didn't think it would happen here on an alien territory, didn't you?-

-Course, not! How could I? - James muttered following Locke.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Korydwen, Kaylost - I'll try to update the story more often ;)

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Kate looked at Juliet warily. This was the second day she tortured herself with that scene at the river. She didn't know what to do. At the beginning, she thought Sawyer explained to Juliet about what happened before he left. Then she hoped that maybe he'd return and everything would be alright. But two days passed without any sign of Sawyer. It appeared that she should be the one who should talk with Juliet. Kate sighed and went to the blond woman. Kate coughed to attract Juliet's attention, but the woman even didn't move; she just kept staring out in front of her.

-Guess, we should talk about that … what happened- Kate trailed off. She looked at Juliet in hope for any reaction other than remaining distracted.

-Ok. I know you are mad at me. You have the right to be. Maybe you won't believe me, but I have to say it. You got it wrong. He didn't want to hurt you. It was only my fault. He said something about leaving and I was scared.-

Only during this conversation - if you can call it that - she realized the cause of her actions.

– I feared lose him again and I… – How she could tell this woman about losing after all she'd been through. – Look I'm really sorry. You are all he cared about. I shouldn't let my fears rule me. Now you sit here not wanting to listen to me and he is over there with a huge probability of getting into trouble. It is what Sawyer is about, finding any danger he can.- She finished almost in whisper.

All this time Juliet paid little attention to Kate's words. She wasn't interested in what she had to say. Words can't change what she saw. She remained on the damn Island because he asked her to stay. She was ready to give up any hope of ever seeing her sister, for him. She believed in the man and, as always, she was left behind. What new could Kate tell her? She knew very well all these "I'm sorry, we didn't want to hurt you but we love each other".

They were "sorry" and "didn't want to hurt", but there was something else, which caught her attention. Kate mumbled something about him getting into trouble and her worry about it. Juliet felt bad. Was she wrong with her judgment? Was there something more than she thought initially?

-What did you just say? What troubles do you mean? - She finally turned to Kate, who was shocked by the surprising change in Juliet.

-He… I wasn't supposed to tell you. He had to say it himself. - Kate babbled.

Juliet looked at her instantly. Was she lying? No, Juliet was sure Kate's words were true, at least she believed in what she said.

-He said we should look for a way from the Island. I know he did it for you. He said he had an idea where Desmond's boat could be. He said there was a small levee on the other side. Where else could a boat be? He was going to see what he could do. He didn't want to involve any of us because the Others could still be there.-

Juliet tried to understand what she had heard, but it was too fantastic. If all was so simple why wouldn't he tell her the truth? She would be only too happy to make her way off of the Island. He explained Kate everything but didn't say a single word to her about it. Why? Why did he let her doubt him even hate him? Then it hit her. That was his plan from the very beginning. He needed her to be angry in order to let him go without questions. She really never misunderstood him. He told her the truth during the entire conversation…

Damn, it would be much easier, if she remained in the dark about this, because now she was frightened. She recalled all these years together, but couldn't remember situations when he acted like this. They always had each other's backs and now… It meant he thought the situation was very dangerous.

-Son of a b**h! What trouble were you going to get into? - She muttered to herself and then louder to Kate – What else did he say about his plans? Did he plan to be out so long?–

-No, he didn't. At least I think so. Honestly we didn't talk about this. - Kate's worry was obvious, but Juliet couldn't let herself be scared. She needed all her faculties to find him.

-Let's find him. He's not the only one from the Dharma Security. - She said going to the camp. If there really is some levee Miles and Jin have to know about the location, but deep in the gut Juliet doubted that this story was true.

...

The first one they found was Miles, LaFleur's right hand man. He was shocked seeing Juliet and Kate together, what meant he already knew everything. Juliet wondered how it happened.

-Miles, I have a question for you.-

-Yeah, I knew this coming- Miles smiled. –Just blurt it.-

-What? - She was confused. -I'm not sure I got it.-

-Oh, I thought… never mind- he sighed.-What did you want to ask me?-

-How many Dharma levees did you know about?-

-What?-It was Miles' turn to be confused.

-Just answer-

-Ok, ok. There are two levees: the one for subs and the small one at the Hydra station. What is the deal with that?-

-And there are no other levees? You don't have to keep secrets now. – Juliet questioned.

-God, of course, no. Where did you get such crazy thoughts?-

-Thank you for your help, Miles-She turned away to leave.

-What is all of it about? What's happening? - Miles asked Kate after Juliet left.

She glanced at him unsure whether she should tell him or not.

-Got it, it's not my business- Miles muttered.

...

-No! I'm sure. If there were any Dharma locations I would have known about them. - was Jin's answer. It meant James lied to Kate. No surprise at all.

...

-Where are you? How am I supposed to have your back now?- Juliet sat on a log trying to concentrate on ways of finding him. There are no chances of following his tracks, too much time has passed. So Juliet sat there and recalled the whole conversation, word by word. Maybe she would be able to find some hint there. He apologized and said something about his feelings to Kate. Stop! Where did that come from? She remembered his phrase.

-Forgive me, but I can't do it any other way. Hope you'll find your happiness with someone else-

Why did she think that was about Kate? What she had heard was "Forgive me, but I love her." Juliet damned herself. Again she let her insecurities prevail, but that was the last time. The cost was too high for both of them. "Can't do it any other way" meant he was forced by circumstances. Something happened after their reunion which made him leave, but Juliet has no idea what it was. They were together almost all time. She'd have noticed if anything happened, right? There was only one possibility for her to miss something – if she was asleep. Night! It must have happened at night. Thought spun in her mind.

...

-Did you see anything strange? Maybe you saw somebody near the camp? Anything? – It's hard to ask when you aren't sure what you want to know.

-No, nothing special. - She heard in return again and again.

-Don't worry. Many strange things are happening here. Sometimes you see things others can't see. - Hurley tried to encourage her.

That's it! Dreams! Only you know what you saw. She remembered their first night here; when she woke up to see him shaking. It scared her at that time but she assured herself that the cause was in her falling. What if she was wrong? What did happen that night?

She vowed to find out the truth. She'd find him and never let him go!

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Don't forget about review, please.


	6. Chapter 6

Again he went through jungle but now he just followed Locke like a lamb to the slaughter. No! He wasn't even similar to a lamb because lambs didn't understand what would happen. Shit! Why did this always happen with him? In that exact moment when he thought his life was normal and happy, everything just collapsed.

He thought they could live together without father, only him and his mother. He hoped that new life would become happy. The day his father returned became his entire life's nightmare. He should have protected his mother but he couldn't do anything.

He thought they could live together without cons, only him and Cassidy. He hoped that new life would become normal like everybody around him. The day his conman partner returned taught him he never could be free from the past. He loved her but he knew now that he couldn't protect her. It was painful enough to believe in happy ending and to see instead only a death of the woman he loved. So he destroyed everything by himself.

He thought they could live together, only him and Juliet. He hoped that new life would become normal, happy and full of love and harmony. The day of his friends returned became the beginning of the end. He was aware of what would happen next but it was too late to stop anything by himself. He tried to protect her, to take her far away. And again he failed. His life was destroyed and she was dead at least he thought so.

May be it was a sign! He couldn't escape or run away. He had to leave behind everybody he cared about as he did with Cassidy. No more hopes and dreams of happy life!

-We are almost at the spot- Locke said distracting James from his thoughts.-Are you sure of your decision? Are you sure there is nothing you'd like to do?-

Of course, not! There are many things I'd like to do. I'd like to leave the Island, marry Juliet and have at least two children, but it doesn't matter now. – He wanted to yell but instead he only said

-Yeah, I'm damn sure.-

-Ok-Locke nodded and went further stepping over something.

James looked at the ground. There was a smooth line of some gray powder across the whole glade.

-What the hell…? - Guess it was time for him to get used to all the strange things that happened on the Island.-What is it?-

-It's nothing. It's just a precaution, nothing more. Never mind that.-

-What precaution do you mean? From whom?-He trailed off. There was a cabin right in front of him.

-Son of a bitch! What is it? Why didn't we see it?-

-If you mean that Jin should have seen it during his patrols – Horace built it long after the Incident. And if you talk about your walks through jungle – guess you just didn't take a notice.-

This answer led only to new questions. Why did Horace build it? Why did Locke know so much?

-Welcome! - Locke said opening the door.

-Only after you- That's it! James took one last look at the trees around him-I don't care if everything goes to ruin- and stepped over the threshold.

When his eyes got accustomed to the semi-darkness, he could see the cabin's decor. There were decrepit chairs and a table with cracked varnish and worn armchair behind it.

-What's next? Share your plan!- James was tired of asking questions. Eventually Locke was the one who should help him and it was his duty to tell him what he should do.

-This place is the most safe and convenient for our goal. It helps you to go on the rest of your journey. Sit down! – Locke pointed to the armchair.

-Just sit down? - It was silly. James sat on the hard seat intentionally moving slowly.-See, nothing happened. I don't feel anything special. Seems you are wrong.- James said angrily.

During those five seconds Locke looked shocked as if he was waiting for something to happen but then he regained his control.

-No, I'm right. It's just you. You don't open yourself to the Island. Island is closest to you here but all the same you have to let it in. After all it's YOUR choice. –Locke finished with confidence.

-Relax! Think about your life on the Island. –Locke's voice became lulling.-You walked through jungle. You always returned to the beach camp as if it was your home. You…-

Everything changed. James was crushed by the wave of memories and images. All Island locations, everywhere he ever was, tried to occupy his attention at once. The images engulfed him giving him no chance to escape.

-I made it!- Locke smiled looking at James who sat still in the chair with eyes turned to some distant spot.-Good luck, James-

He had done his work. He found a substitute and helped to get freedom. He could leave now.

James continued sink. He was exhausted. He badly understood where he was. Caves. Beach. Orchid station. Images flashed in front of his eyes. He had to stop them or he'd go mad. But just when he tried to stop himself something pulled him away paralyzed him and suppressed his resistance. Finally he gave up. He vanished in this chaos. There was no James now. He became the part of something else. He no longer understood who he was. James was gone. There remained only one thing. The Island!


	7. Chapter 7

Juliet had only two ways of looking for James. The first one was to ramble through jungle in hope of finding him sooner or later. The second one included getting help from the man who knew this Island better than anyone else. Juliet chose the latter. She was going to find Richard, because all those years as an Other taught her that he was the only one who could help in such situation. However she was well aware how dangerous this plan could be, so she didn't want to draw anybody else into it. She turned down Miles' and Jin's attempts to come with her and she assured Jack that she knew the Island well enough to protect herself.

She had no idea where Richard could be. Three years is enough time for everything to change. But she remembered where she looked for him before when she needed him. Her plan was clear, so she left the camp and went to the temple. It was so strange to walk through the jungle without any signs of Dharma' presence. She had gotten accustomed to that life. She gotten accustomed to being the wife of the Head of Security. She smiled remembering that day he had been promoted. He enjoyed it in almost a childlike way. Maybe he was the angry LaFleur for everyone else, but she knew the real him. She was aware that the entire security team (well, maybe not Miles and Jin) was frightened to even talk with him and she wondered how it could be that they didn't see his kindness and caring. However se never tried to change it. It was better to have him all for herself. He was neither Jim nor Sawyer. He was HER James.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a strange noise. She listened carefully and froze in terror. There was one thing she forgot about during the 3 years with Dharma.

The smoke monster!

She dashed around the glade in vain attempt to find shelter before It reached her. Nothing! There was only grass and flowers around her and It was quite near. She watched with horror as a huge cloud of black smoke rushed toward her.

Could it really be the end? Would she ever see James again? That was the only thought spinning in her mind as she waited for her impending death. Seconds later she was face to face with it. She strained, preparing herself to the blow or to be grabbed, or something else painful but nothing happened. Smoke was just curling in front of her as if it was trying to examine her, trying to get into her mind. Juliet began to shake. It was the worst that could happen. She'd prefer to be attacked instead of this torture of this uncertainty. Suddenly something bubbled inside the cloud.

Lightning! A bright flash!

When Juliet regained her vision she was alone on the glade. There was no sign of the Monster as if it was just a nightmare. But she could swear the Smoke monster had been real. Then all her strength drained away and she collapsed on the ground unable to stop trembling.

Richard found her in that state. Without questions he knelt beside her. There was something strange about this man. He was able to convey a sense of calm you just by being near.

-What happened? - He asked when Juliet was ready to talk.

-I was looking for you Richard.- Alpert nodded slightly as in indication that they would discuss the cause of her searching later.

-The smoke monster. He appeared right in front of me but he did nothing; only examined me.– Juliet trailed off, knowing that one more word would be enough for her to start crying. She could bear many things but this silent torture was too much.–Then there was a flash and he disappeared. – Juliet understood how silly she sounded. The situation wasn't that dangerous, based on her words. The monster even didn't touch her.

-I see. I'm glad you are alright.- Richard answered simply without any judgment.

-Why were you looking for me?- were his next words as if there was nothing more to say about her meeting with the Smoke.

-James! He left two days ago and I didn't know where he is. I need your help, Richard.-

-Please. All this years I've never asked you a favor.- She added when he remained silent

-I'm sure none of my people have seen him. Otherwise I'd already know about it.-He answered eventually but Juliet couldn't tell whether it was yes or no.

-How did it happen? Where are the rest of your group?-

-They are at the Swan- She answered curtly, implying that they weren't connected with this.

She wondered how much Richard remembered considering Ben didn't remember anything. Otherwise James couldn't survive the captivity.

-Everything seemed to be normal- she continued.-Then he just went away without any explanation.- Juliet paused not sure whether she should tell him or not. But it was Richard. He had to understand her.-I thought maybe he saw something in the dream- She told hesitantly.

Richard was quiet for a while, twiddling a blade of grass.

-I'll send men to check places he could be.-He agreed to help!-and we'll examine my theory in the meantime. - He became gloomy. Juliet could swear he hoped to be wrong but didn't believe in such luck.

_He was gone. There was only the Island. And everything on the Island belonged to him. He could feel every blade of grass, could hear every peep. Suddenly there was some imbalance in th harmony. There was something unnecessary in his natural kingdom. Humans! Their presence spoiled everything. They should be removed. Immediately! James rushed forward with only one purpose. Annihilate! __But the person he saw… There was something familiar about the face. The calm look! The beautiful blue eyes! They were so familiar to him. They definitely belonged to his previous life. But it was so long ago. He couldn't remember anything except sensations. This woman! She was special, but he didn't remember why? And he knew he couldn't hurt her. He could be mad, rant and rave, but it didn't change anything. All he could do now was turn away and disappear. He ran away. Away from her. Away from those deep blue eyes._


	8. Chapter 8

Juliet followed Richard without understanding where they were going. There were no stations in this direction. They left the Temple a few hours ago. What was their destination? Was it another one of the Island's secrets? And how could James be connected with it?

They kept going until the nightfall. There wasn't any sense in going through the jungle after dark, considering how much time had passed since James left; how much time SHE wasted, for nothing. Juliet tried to sleep, but her thoughts were recalling the day's events. They got used to the quite life without necessity to fight for surviving. What if she never saw him again? What if he had met the Monster?

-Please, be alive. - She whispered, before falling asleep.

Juliet woke up. Richard was gone. Could he have changed his mind? She pushed such thoughts away. She had many other reasons to worry. Less then half an hour later, Richard returned.

-Checked whether my people found him or not. - He answered at her silent question.

She didn't ask anything else. It was clear enough that there were no results. So she stood up showing she was ready to continue the trip.

Two hours later they reached a deserted cabin.

-Wait for me here- Richard ordered going into the cabin without waiting for her to respond. He was slightly shocked when she stopped him.

-No! If there is any chance that you can get information about James I'll go with you. – Juliet said looking at Richard intensely. She respected him but she wasn't going to give way in this argument.

-Ok-he sighed-but don't touch anything in there.-He opened the door for her.

The cabin's windows were so covered with grime that it was dark inside, even in the middle of the day. But even the darkness didn't stop Juliet from seeing HIM! He sat in an armchair behind the table. It seemed he didn't notice their entrance.

-James-she inhaled and moved towards him, but Richard caught her, not letting her take another step. She turned to him abruptly not understanding why he was doing this.

-Let me go- She said coldly looking at his fingers on her hand.

-Only when you remember my words. DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING.-

-I'm not going to touch anything. All I want is to take James out of here.- She could barely restrain herself. Their conversation wasn't t quiet enough for James to not hear, but he remained still. It meant something wasn't right with him. And she couldn't even go to him. Damn Richard and his precious cabin.

-It's impossible. I'm sorry, Juliet.- He said sympathetically

She heard him but she didn't understand him, as if he spoke in some other language. Only sounds without meaning. James was here. She found him. He sat there, just in front of her. He was alive. Then why was it impossible for him to go with her? What was Richard sorry about?

In one quick move Juliet freed her hand from Richard's grasp and rushed to James.

-James- She called him. No reaction.

She touched his arm. No reaction.

She examined him. She saw his chest rise and fall in time with his breathing. His eyes were open, but his stare was blank. Only emptiness. As if the man whom soul they mirrored, didn't exist anymore.

-What is with him, Richard?- She asked in a horror.-What's happening?-

Getting no answer she continued much more angrily-Tell me. I'm sure you know what happened. Otherwise we wouldn't have come here.-

-He's gone. - Richard answered carefully choosing the words.-What you see now is just a shell. It will disappear after some time.-

Such cold words. As if he was speaking about a thing and not a person.

-How can I get him back?-

She didn't understand about him being gone. He was alive now and she was going to do everything she could to save him. If there was any chance to fix it, she'd definitely try it.

-There is no way for him to return.- It was a sentence.

-No! I don't believe you! What have you done with him?- She almost yelled, coming closer to him.

He winced but didn't step away. He didn't do or say anything, as if giving her time to accept the truth.

No! She couldn't do this. She couldn't give up.

The hell with Richard and his logic. She is a doctor. She CAN fix it. All she needs is to find the cause of his condition. But it's hard to do in this dark cabin.

She grasped his arm and tried to pull him out of the chair.

-What are you doing?- Richard asked, alarmed.

-I'm going to get him out of this cabin. Why do you even care about it? If you are right about his condition it doesn't change anything. - She hissed.

She only managed to stand James up when the world around them became crazy. The whole cabin was shaking and all things were falling, threatening to hit people inside.

-We should leave- Richard shouted, dodging from the flying objects.

-Only if he goes with us- Juliet answered, not stopping her attempts at pulling James along. It was not easy to move him, considering his weight, but now her task became almost impossible.

Richard cast uncertain glance to the chair and then - apparently made up his mind – he picked up James and they nearly fell out of the cabin.

The building continued shaking but the jungle around it was quiet, unlike the chaos inside the cabin.

_The Island. Everything was quiet. He seem__ed to be worried about something. Maybe it was some meeting. He already forgot. There was nothing that stayed in his memory long enough. Or maybe too much time passed. Time. It's a very strange substance. There was a period when he knew what it was. He knew many unnecessary things then, but now everything was ideal. He had all the resources he needed to protect the Island. To protect it from humans! They can only destroy!_

-What is it? - Juliet asked with fear, still squeezing James' hand.

-As I told you before, you shouldn't have touched anything there.-

Juliet shrugged distrustfully. It was too fantastic to be the truth, a strange cabin in the middle of the Island with its own laws. No, it couldn't be real. There should have been some simple explanation. Maybe it was all because of the air in the cabin. Maybe there was some narcotic matter in the cabin. They spent only a few minutes inside and they had already seen things. God! If James was there all this time, his condition wasn't strange at all.

But what if it continued working outside. Juliet looked around. Nothing, but she couldn't relax.

-Let's get him away from here.-

Richard didn't answer. His disagree was obvious, but he wasn't going to leave her. They took only a few steps when James began tearing himself from their hands. Shocked by his movements she stepped away and he collapsed to the ground. His body was shaken by convulsions. When she regained her composure she immediately rushed to the ground near him and tried to keep him still. His face was distorted by torment, his palms were colored by blood, because of hard fists he made.

-It's result of the ash circle around the cabin. We just stepped over it.- Richard said, pointing to the ground.

Juliet followed his gaze and saw the narrow gray stripe.

-I don't know how long he can take it, but it won't abate. There is only one way to stop it – he should be returned to the inside of the circle- Richard said quietly.

Juliet wasn't sure that overstepping any stripe could help, but then James cried out. She had never heard such a scream. He almost howled with pain.

_He __felt a stabbing pain, as if thousands of sharp needles suddenly pierced his body, going deeper and deeper. He didn't understand where it came from. He tried to escape, to run, but it made everything more painful. He thrashed about as a fish in a net, getting tangled more and more. Now there were not only needles, but also chains. They throttled him, hugged him, giving him no space to breathe, giving him no space at all. They squeezed him out drop by drop. In a last desperate attempt to escape from the pain, he shouted. It appeared he only thought that he had done it, because he didn't hear his own voice. Now he had no strength even for the shouts and he sank into the vacuum of pain._

Not doubting any more, Juliet pulled James back to the cabin. She didn't understand the causes of what was going on and she didn't believe in Richard's words, but it was better to do something than merely watch him suffer.

Once they were inside the circle, everything stopped immediately. James went limp on her lap and his eyes were again empty.

Juliet watched him with bitter tears threatening to pour out. If she left him here, near the cabin, then he would be okay but there would remain nothing human in him. If she got him away, then he would be human in pain; it was a paradox. Her choice was let him suffer either emotionally or physically. She had never imagined that she would be forced to make such a choice.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Read! Enjoy! And review, please. I want to know what do you think about :)

* * *

Choice is integral part of our lives. Even when we don't notice it, when we think it's not our deal, it's our choice indeed. Every step, every word is our decision; where to turn at every fork in the road. You can think you remain neutral not interfering in what's going on around you, but indeed you are guilty, because nonintervention is a choice, it is just a passive one. On the other hand, you can think that you are a bad person, because your every action has hidden intent, but what matters is you helping people. It's not fate. It's your choice. You always have a choice.

He had choice: be with his love or run from the responsibility. Or maybe it was about a person he could become: man with a home and a family or single person with power. Or he chose whose life he was ready to risk: hers or his own. We can give it many names – fear, power thirst, sacrifice – but he made his choice.

He had to live with the consequences of his choice. Nobody could change it.

But!

You have your choice. Maybe the consequences of it will affect him, maybe not.

Just remember - you always have a choice.

...

Juliet woke up. What a strange dream! She didn't remember the person who spoke with her, she remembered only his words. They were spinning in her mind as an annoying fly.

"You can make your choice. It's not fate. It's your choice. You always have a choice."

Was there any sense in her dream? Only words, without any real help. She'd preferred to see a real solution of the problem as it had been with Mendeleev. She couldn't imagine what kind of choice was able to wake James from this strange coma.

Juliet looked around. Everything was quiet. James remained on her lap as if only a few seconds were passed since she dragged him back into the circle. Only Richard was gone. Whether he'd return or wouldn't; she was sure he wouldn't leave her alone. She couldn't see anyone but she was sure that his people were somewhere near. It wasn't the worst case, because it meant that she needn't to check her surroundings for danger and she could turn all her attention to James. If she knew how to fix it…

-James! I need you. I need your optimism. I need to hear that everything will be alright. We won't die from thirst, because it will rain sooner or later. - She whispered to him not hiding her emotions. There was no chance for him to wake up and hear her confession. – Why did you leave me? Why didn't you speak with me? Why did you decide to solve the problem by yourself?-

Decide… Choice… Leave… There was some thought spinning in her mind, she couldn't latch on to. It somehow dealt with her dream.

"He had a choice: be with his love or run from the responsibility. Or maybe it was about a person he could become: man with a home and a family or single person with power. Or he chose whose life he was ready to risk: her or his own."

Those words were from her dream. It appeared, in any case, that his decision was to leave her.

- We can give it many names, he made his choice. But I have my choice.- She didn't notice when she began speak aloud. –You chose to leave me and I chose to be with you. I'm not going to let you go away.- She spoke louder and louder.-There is no way I'll let you repeat your helicopter stunt. There is no way I'll let you leave me and die as a hero. If you jump, I'll jump after you. I'll always have your back. Like hell you can change it. Do you hear me?-She was angry and almost hysterical but she couldn't stop. –Don't you dare give up. Don't you be a damn hero. Don't you leave me when I believed in our future. – She finished drained of all strength..

-I miss you- she whispered cuddling up to him.

_The pain ended as suddenly as it started or maybe he got accustomed to it and just didn't feel __it. He stirred. Nothing. There were no chains or needles. Everything was alright now. But what happened within him must have had a cause. Somebody did this to him and he should be punished. He rushed through the jungle searching for the answer._

_Nobody! Ever! Dare! Do it! Again! _

_He was breaking trees on his way, pushing away birds and animals not carrying about their destination. He must find!_

_Not here! There are only empty houses._

_Not here! There are humans but they are too frightened to do anything. He'll return to kill them later. _

_Not here!_

_Not here!_

_Not here!_

_One by one he examined locations on the Island. Nothing! He yelled, letting his anger be free. Somebody will pay! If he doesn't find the person responsible for his pain, people at the beach will pay._

_Suddenly he felt that something was wrong. In __the jungle, where he rarely went, there was somebody. It was strange! It was wrong! The closest he came the more wrong it felt._

_That place scared him. Deep in his gut he knew he shouldn't go there. It would be better to turn around and go to the beach. But the other part of him wished to reach that place._

Juliet was snuggled up to James and looked at the sky above. She tried everything she could to fix him. Nothing. There was no chance for a fairytale ending in her damn life. The princess couldn't wake her prince up, not by medical knowledge or by kisses.

Suddenly she felt that they were not under observation any more. She was alone and there was that terrible sound again. It was chatter which made her shiver and wish to run away. She'd run if it was only about her, but she couldn't leave James here. They'd be together, for the rest of their lives! She hugged him in one last attempt to protect him when the Monster appeared. It approached as an avalanche wiped out everything in its path.

A few seconds later they were surrounded by the dark cloud in which images flashed. Juliet watched the scenes from her own life, from their life. It is said your life flashes before your eyes before death, but she didn't expect it to be so literal.

_He found what he was looking for. He found the person responsible for his pain. He was sure. But he didn't feel any anger. It was again a strange feeling of something familiar. There were memories he couldn't __grasp. Only now it was not only about her. There was a man near her. He… was blurred. It was hard to see him, as if he was here and wasn't at the same time. The whole picture, the man, the woman… _

_He could see flashes of their life, but he didn't know where those images came from. He didn't understand why he remembered/knew/saw all of it. _

_He scanned people more than once. He judged them. He executed them. But the pictures he saw then were about their faults and crimes. It should be some important decisions, but these images were different. There were no actions or decisions and they… They were tearing him to pieces, as if two worlds were trying to absorb him. He couldn't understand where he was and who he was. _

_Different memories, different thoughts, different p__eople. It seemed he was locked in some kind of labyrinth. He had to be near the exit, eventually he would be able to find himself,his way out, but the walls kept appearing in front of him. He was forced to circle again and again, looking for the exit._

The smoke around them became thicker. There were lightning in it. Juliet had no more strength to be scared. All she could do now was to look from an outsider's viewpoint and be happy that James was unaware of their situation.

This was why she was so shocked to realize that the closeness of the Monster affected him. He was stretched, as if he nearly woke up or was at least trying to wake up.

The Monster grabbed him, snatched him from her hands and pulled him away.

-No!-

She rushed after them trying to grab James' hand, to hold him, but her strength wasn't enough. His palm slapped out at her hands and he disappeared into jungle.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Sorry for my long absence. I was out of the city, but now I'm here with the next chapter. Hope you'll like it. ;)

* * *

Juliet stood up and rushed forward. She nearly forgot what she was dealing with. She forgot that she had no weapon. All her thoughts were about running them down. It was why she didn't notice that something was in her way.

She ran into something. Juliet looked up and saw Richard right in front of her. Obviously he had no intention of getting out of her way, so she tried to go around him.

-You should stop. It is not your business anymore.- He said holding her arm.

Again he appeared only to tell her what she couldn't do. That annoyed her.

- You already told this, Richard.- She spoke through clenched teeth.

-Yes, I did.- He answered calmly, releasing her arm. Juliet wondered if there were anything that could destroy his composure.

-The situation changed. You did what I thought was impossible. But! You can't go further.- As if he felt Juliet's anger rising from another one of his lectures, Richard tried to explain.-You already gave him the medicine. All you can do now is wait and hope that it'll work.-

-What do you mean? - Juliet leaned to the tree exhausted. She didn't understand Richard

-He was dragged away by the Monster! Is it your treatment?-She said sarcastically.

-Yes-

Juliet thought that she began hear things.-Yes?-

-Yes. It is the only way to fix him. It is the only way to get him back. – "If he survives." He added to himself. There was too much to tell Juliet about the risks. Especially since HE said that these two had enough strength to make it through this ordeal. Richard didn't believe him then, but he appeared to be wrong about Juliet. Maybe he was wrong now. Maybe they would have their happy ending.

-How do you know this?- Juliet whispered.-Why are you so sure?-

-Jacob told me-

Her life on the Island taught her to believe in those words and she didn't ask questions. No matter who Jacob was or how he did it. He kept his promises. She had no reasons to doubt him now.

-Return to your friends. When the time comes I'll lead you to him.- Richard said and disappeared into jungle.

...

-Return! I should return to the camp- Juliet repeated again and again and again.

The past few days were so trying, she hadn't had time to think, to realize, to be afraid. Now she had enough time for all these thoughts and they overwhelmed her.

How she lost him.

How she found him and lost him again.

How he withdrew from the pain and she couldn't do anything.

How his hand slipped from her grasp.

Juliet laughed bitterly. What a cruel irony. The Swan station. Her hand slipped away from his grasp. He couldn't do anything.

When you are a victim, you think that it couldn't be worse. You think that letting go is the best option. Now she realized she was wrong. Now she was in his place and she hated him. She hated him for leaving her in an attempt to protect her. She hated him for repeating her own actions, for letting go.

_This man. He was __the key. The key to his freedom. He was the key to getting out of this labyrinth. He just knew it. So he grabbed him without a thought. When he barely touched him he was overcome by a wave of unbearable pain, but it was a different kind of pain. It was a nagging ache. It was all because of this place and this woman. He should go away, as far as he could. He turned and ran while still holding the man. Soon that first pain returned. He felt as if he was cut into pieces and ground into dust. But it couldn't stop him. He ran until his strength left him. He ran until his body became numb transforming the unbearable pain into a dull ache. He knew this pain would stay with him forever. It was his punishment. It was the reminder that he broke the rules. He shouldn't go to that place. But he had, and he had to finish it. He had to learn why this man was so important._

_He tried to scan him __recoiled from him. It wasn't as easy as usual. He couldn't keep his distance. He was engulfed by the void inside this man. He managed to stop now, but he wouldn't be this lucky next time._

_Danger! He must be destroyed!_

_But he was sure the man was the key. Could it be a trap? They hoped he destroyed the key by himself. Or they hoped he thought they wanted him to destroy it._

_These possibilities confused him more and more._

_It made no sense to wait. He had to risk. But what should he choose?_

The way back took much less time. Maybe because now she knew where she was going. Or maybe she just didn't think about it. Or maybe – as had always been in her life – everything that frightened her came about much more quickly than what she wished it to. Now she went to meet their strained faces and sympathetic looks.

She returned alone. There could be only one conclusion and she didn't intend to explain what really happened. She didn't want to talk at all because it would sound too fantastic and absurd. She knew if she said it aloud, she'd lose all hope, because there were no reasons to believe in happy endings.

She didn't want to think about it. She desperately wished for a miracle. They deserved it after all.

She sat in the shadow and closed her eyes trying to calm herself. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

_He is all-powerful. Nobody__ could can kill him if he didn't help them. So the choice was obvious. He'll sort this out and then he would be free again. Forever!_

_He returned to the man on the ground. Now he was ready to __confront the strange feelings he got from the scanning the man. He forced himself not to recoil from them; he took another step. There was no way back. It was and wasn't like falling. It was more like an explosion and he was right in the center of it. _

_Flashes, events, images, feelings. _

_Had. Lost. Loved. Distressed. Tricked. Stole. Killed. Found. Gave up. Lost. Recovered. Refused. Left._

_He tried to return to his previous life. That life was easy. There were no feelings, no emotions. But some part of him didn't want that life. Was it his part? He __didn't have such emotions. He didn't have doubts. They were all because of this man. Those emotions belonged to him. _

_Everything was wrong. He had __only to examine the man but with each passing second he lost his understanding of who he was. Which one of them wanted to survive? Which one wanted to return to his life? Why did they have only one life for both of them?_

_-Feelings aren't necessary. They just hurt you. It's best without them._

_-Loneliness. You'll be alone. There will be no one around. She won't be around._

_-If you have nothing you lose nothing. You don't have to suffer. It's easier. It's safer._

_-The safety is useless if __your life has no meaning._

_-You have meaning. Your goal is to protect, to save, to destroy for the Island's sake._

_-What about love and enjoyment?_

_-You can love the Island. You can enjoy your life here. Look around it's beautiful place. The Island. __Home._

_-There is no one to share this beauty. Home is where your heart is. Otherwise it's just a cage. I'll escape from it sooner or later._

_-Escape for what? Do you want to be an ordinary man?_

_-Yes. I dreamed about an ordinary life._

_-I don't understand! Don't understand!_

_He was confused. He began to weaken and the man began to strengthen. They were fighting for the power and he lost the battle. He felt he was shoved back farther and farther. It was as if this man wasn't alone anymore. As if someone or something helped him._

_-I don't understand!_

_That was his last thought._

Two people watched as black smoke swirled around the man. It began pale and finally it disappeared.

-I told you he'll cope with it.-

He went to the man who was still laying motionless on the ground.

-Bring her- He motioned to the second man who immediately went away.


	11. Chapter 11

Juliet left two days ago. While she was gone, Jack questioned his decision to let her go alone about a hundred times.

It was a crazy idea. If something happened with Sawyer what would she manage to do. How could he let this happen? He decided to follow her. Anyway his presence in the camp wasn't necessary.

-Wait. Where are you going?-Kate stopped him.-Do you have any idea where she could be? You don't. You are going to disappear into jungle like Juliet and Sawyer already did. It's not a solution. Live together, remember.-

Unfortunately, she was right. He didn't know where to start searching. So he was forced to wait, hoping that she'd return.

She returned.

Without acknowledging the people around her, she passed them and sat under a tree. Her clothes were torn, but she seemed to be fine. Except for her mental condition, of course.

She returned ALONE! Did that mean she didn't find him? Or did it mean he was dead.

-Hi!-he sat down near her.

-Hello Jack-she turned to face him. She was calm and cool as always.

-What happened?-he asked carefully.

-I found him, but there were some problems, which he should fix. Then he'll return to me.-she answered in a plain voice.

This was the 'Other' Juliet he knew 3 years ago. She had again raised her walls, not letting anyone get close to her. It scared him. She was back to being that person. He had seen her being open to the world and happy in Dharma. But now she was the Ice Queen. Maybe he was just not the man she wanted to be with her, to know her. He wasn't Sawyer.

-Are we just waiting?- he smiled at her.

-Yes-she smiled back, but her ice remained cold. The next moment she stared out into the distance.

Jack had been sitting with her for a while, but she seemed to forget about his presence. So he stood up and went to the rest of the group.

-What is it, dude? What did she tell you?- Hurley asked impatiently.

-She said, she had found him and he would come back later. We just had to wait for him.- Jack's voice was uncertain.

-Do you believe in it?-Sayid asked.

-Sayid. I thought we already accepted, that she was one of us.- Kate interrupted.

-I know. I mean maybe she's in shock and just trying to assure herself that he isn't gone-

And then there was a silence. Everybody thought the same thought. Maybe they had lost another friend.

They looked at Jack with little hope.

-She looks o.k.-It was the only thing he could say them.

There was nothing to talk about. They just occasionally glanced at the figure under the tree.

...

Next night Jack woke up and looked around. Everybody was asleep. Then he saw some light between trees. He looked again. He wasn't seeing things. There really was somebody.

Jack grabbed his gun and went towards the light.

Could it be Sawyer?

The man was two steps from him when Jack could see him.

-Richard-he was surprised. He was the last man he expected to see.

-Jack-

-Why are you here?-Jack was slightly alarmed. There was no reason for Richard to be here.

-I came for Juliet.- Richard answered.

His honestuy was a quality that Jack respected in him.

-Why?-

-It has dealt with James. I promised to lead her to him. That's why I'm here now.-

Jack accepted this answer, not understanding what it meant, but knowing well enough that other questions would be useless.

-Okay. I'll call her and we will get ready to go.-

There wasn't a doubt that he wouldn't let her go alone this time.

-No. You can't go.-

-You're not the one to decide.-

-You can't either.-Richard pointed out.-Your parted ways 3 years ago.-

Jack looked furiously at Richard but he had nothing to say. Alpert was right, he left Juliet and had no right to tell her what she should do.

-How is Sawyer?-he eventually asked.

-He will be alright with her.-

There was something strange in his answer. As if now the situation was bad, but Juliet could fix it. Jack again was consumed with doubts.

-When will they come back? -

Richard was silent enough for Jack to feel awkward. How could it be that he couldn't estimate the time until they returned?

-They won't come back, Jack. Their time on the Island has come to the end. They'll leave it. Forever!-

Jack was shocked. Richard spoke about their leaving the Island, right?

-You'll let them leave? Why? What about us?-

-No! The Island let them leave.-He emphasized the Island.-They did what they meant to do. You didn't. You haven't fulfilled your destiny yet. The Island isn't finished with you.-

Richard passed Jack and went to Juliet. She immediately stood up and went with him.

Jack stood there trying to understand Richard's words.

What destiny did he mean?


	12. Chapter 12

Richard brought Juliet to a different beach. There was large stone foot. Apparently it was the only part of a whole statue that remained. Maybe it was even the same statue they saw during their time travels. But now Juliet was more interested in finding James than thinking about a large foot. She began looking around but the beach was empty. There was no sign James had been there.

-Why did you bring me here?-There was no fear in her voice just a mix of surprise and annoyance.

-You are wanted- he ignored her question walking to the statue.

Could it be that she didn't notice someone near the Foot? Juliet again peered into the darkness. Nothing. She was confused. Who was waiting for her? Where was James?

At the moment Juliet caught up Richard they were right in front of the heel. To her surprise Juliet saw that there was a tiny door. Obviously Richard wanted her to go in. Why not? She had nothing to lose. She breathed in and stepped into the semidarkness of the tunnel illuminated by torches on the walls.

She took a few steps and then turned expecting Richard to follow her, but he was still at the door.

-Are you going to come in?-

She never was fond of this man, but it was more comfortable to be with him than to go in there alone.

-No. HE is waiting for you alone.-Richard said and then added-Don't worry. Everything will be alright now.-

His words were the exact ones she needed to hear. They assured her and gave her the courage to go forward, to face her fate.

A few minutes later Juliet appeared in the large hall illuminated only by the fire in the center of it. The walls were covered with tapestries. She was so deeply examining them that she didn't notice a man.

-Hello Juliet-

She nearly jumped at the sound of his voice and immediately turned to him.

-My name is Jacob.-

Juliet looked intently at the man. He was absolutely ordinary. She couldn't make herself believe that he was the Jacob she had heard so much about.

-I decided to meet with you, because your destiny was very important. You are the only one who could do this. That's why you were brought to the Island.-

These words made Juliet flinch. Again somebody told her that being here was her fate. Again she should have done something.

-The Island was in danger. There was darkness I couldn't annihilate. All I could do was hold it off for a while. I knew that once it found a loophole then I couldn't stop it anymore.-

Jacob spoke in a calm and plain voice as if he was talking about something unimportant.

-I could only hope that you would make the right choice. That the man, who would be used to free the darkness, would be able to fight it. It happened.- Jacob pointed somewhere.

After looking closely in that direction Juliet saw another tunnel. They stepped in it and Jacob kept talking.

-The man managed to win. He closed out the darkness within himself, protecting all of us. But now he should be protected. He needs our help to remain who he is, to prevent darkness' escaping. Somebody should be with him, should calm him, and should support him. It's your task Juliet. – Jacob finished turning to her.

Maybe she was supposed to answer, but she didn't know what to say. It was too strange. She thought she was being led to James and instead she found Jacob and was instructed about her new task, babysitting somebody she didn't know.

The tunnel brought them to a smaller room with a dais in the center. For Juliet, it was similar to an altar. To make it even more so, there was a man lying on it. Apparently the one she should protect.

Jacob stepped aside.

Juliet decided there would be no harm in getting closer to the man. There was something familiar about his silhouette.

With each step her heart beat stronger and stronger.

The clothes. The hair.

She already knew who she would see there, but she was feared to believe.

Him! It was really him! He lay on the stone altar.

He was so calm and motionless that for one brief second she thought he was dead. She stopped fearing to touch him, to determine whether she was right. Then she noticed that his chest was rising and falling in time with his breathing.

She sat down near him and carefully pushed some hair away from his face. The whole scene was so natural. How many times, in the morning, did she wake up before him and watch him sleeping?

But now wasn't the morning and his sleep wasn't a normal one. Juliet was recalling Jacob's words. Now they were not just words, but something dealing with James' future.

"The man managed to win. But now he should be protected. Somebody should be with him, should calm him, and should support him."

Something happened there in the cabin and, after that, when the Monster took him. She doubted that she would ever learn what occurred. What really mattered was that James survived that and they could be together. Once in a blue moon her choice and her fate coincided.

-When will he regain consciousness?-

-Guess he will need some time. He gave a lot of energy during the fight.-

-Ok. He'll wake up and then what?- Juliet tried to keep a level head and sort out the situation.

-Then you'll leave the Island-Jacob said casually.-and never come back.-

He turned to leave, but Juliet had one last question.

-How will we do it?-

-Richard will help you-he answered without turning and left the room.

Could the day be any better? She met with JACOB, found James alive and finally got permission to leave the Island. Juliet happily smiled and turned all her attention back to James. She was listening to his breathing, watching at his peaceful features and waiting for him to wake up.


	13. Chapter 13

Eventually he began to stir and then he opened his eyes. He looked at her but didn't see. It seemed his eyes just couldn't focus. She barely touched him, to get his attention, when his gaze became clearer and he looked directly at her. She expected to see him smile at her as he always did, but his reaction took her by surprise. He looked at her with horror and rushed away from her.

He managed to make only few steps when he squeezed his head in his hands and slowly sank to the floor. Juliet carefully went to him. He was in significant pain and she longed to help him ease the pain, but what she saw in his eyes scared her. She didn't understand why he was so frightened. What did she do wrong? Could she cause more harm by being with him now?

-James-she said quietly and carefully touched his arm.

She could feel him flinch but this time he didn't make any attempt to move, still squeezing his head.

-My head-he forced himself to whisper.

"Head. Headache. Maybe it was caused by standing too fast. Consequences – temporary blindness. But the pain shouldn't be so great. Maybe it was mixed with the last days' stress." - Juliet recalled everything she knew about headaches.

Anyway there was only one way to help him without using drugs. He needed to relax. She tenderly removed his hands from his head and began massaging his scalp. Slowly she lifted down to his neck and back. Under her calm touch his body began relaxing and he started to calm down. When she stopped he turned onto his side and remained still.

-What are you doing here?-he didn't move and his voice was so low that if anyone had been watcing them they'd never know that he'd spoken.-You shouldn't be here.-

-I came for you. I'll take you away and everything will be alright.- She answered gently trying to soothe him, but he wasn't soothed.

He turned to her with eyes full of fear and doom.

-No! Nothing good can come of this! You must leave!-

It was as if she had been punched. Did he really want her to leave? Why it was so hard for him to be with her?

-Why?-it was all she managed to say, trying to keep her brave facade and hide how painful these words were to her.

-If you don't want to go, then I'll go.-He stood up carefully, not wanting to collapse again.

He was avoiding her gaze, but she managed to catch his eyes for a few seconds. That was enough for her to understand that he was just scared and these words weren't easy for him to say.

-What did they do to you?-she asked following him.

He didn't answer continuing on his way out of the room.

-What did they do?-she repeated louder and forced him to stop and to look at her.

For a while they were just standing and staring at each other.

-What…-

-If you stay with me, you'll die-he almost yelled and turned away.

Juliet was shocked by his words. Did he still believe that he could hurt her? At the beginning of their relationship she wondered how he could be so insecure, but then she thought he had developed faith in himself. Who could make him again believe that it would be safer for her to be without him? It was so wrong.

-James-she cupped his head making him look at her. She had see that expression before: despair and hopelessness. It was at the Swan station.

-The situation has changed. What you've been told isn't true anymore.-

-How can you be so sure? I can't risk it. It will be better to be without you than to see you die.-

These words were so similar to those she said to him before the Incident and now she knew how wrong they were.

-No! We have to live in present. We can't always think about what might happen tomorrow. Otherwise our lives would be for nothing. I'd prefer to spent my life with you.-

She almost could see his inner turmoil between his fear of loosing her and his wish to be with her. She was afraid that his fears would make him leave her and there would be nothing she could do. She couldn't repeat Jacob's words, because if he decided that the darkness inside him was a threat to her, she'd lose him forever. She was so sure about this, because it was how she herself would act.

-We'll leave this Island and begin a new life. We'll buy Microsoft.-she joked, trying to make him smile and he relented.

He wasn't assured at all. He told himself that he would be careful and would leave her at the first sign of the danger, but for now he gave up.

-We'll leave-he repeated her words. His voice was uncertain.

She understood that he needed some time. She was ready to wait.


	14. Chapter 14

They moved slowly toward the exit of the cave. Juliet was looking at James attentively, ready to support him, if necessary. It seemed that every movement hurt him. When he flinched and closed his eyes, they stood still, until the pain decreased and he was ready to go on. It was hard for Juliet to figure out his condition exactly and determine whether he was just weak or whether it was something more. He didn't help her at all, telling constantly that everything was alright.

Near the exit they stopped once more, to allow their eyes to get used to the sunlight. Richard was sitting on the beach, not far away from the Foot. When he noticed them, he immediately stood up and went to them. He was still calm and quiet and only Juliet, who spent enough time with him in the last few days, could see the amazed examining look he directed to James.

Without a word, Richard pointed to the jungle and they set out in that direction. Their progress was slow, because they had to stop occasionally adapting to James' condition. They didn't talk.

Richard was fulfilling his orders and trying to understand what happened and who James was now.

James paid little attention to things around him. He was lost in his thoughts. He was distracted from them only to glance at Juliet or to touch her, in order to be sure that she was with him, safe and sound.

Juliet paid all her attention to James. She also needed to see him, to confirm his presence, as if he would disappear if she turned away from him.

That was the reason they were so startled when they heard a scream.

-Wow!-Then there were more muffled sounds.-It is Juliet and Sawyer.-

Juliet looked surprised as Hurley and other members of their little group appeared from within the trees. A few seconds later, they stood there looking at each other.

-Dude! You're fine. It's great, because we already thought the worst.-

His face was lit with happiness and he rushed toward Sawyer and hugged him.

Juliet always loved Hurley for his sincerity and warmth. He lit up the place and now he removed all the tension that was in the air.

-Easy there, or your fears will become real.-

James said trying to get away from Hugo's grasp. He was smiling and he tried to joke. It was significant progress in comparison to his previous silence. Of course that didn't mean he wasn't in pain anymore. Juliet could see how he winced when Hurley patted him on the shoulder and how slowly he moved, when he sat down on the log. She saw that, but the others didn't, at least none of them except Jack. He was hard to read, all she could see was he was worried but wasn't surprised.

Seconds later a group of Others appeared from within the trees. All of them had weapons aimed at Jack and company.

-Guess, we could manage without violence. We won't do any harm.-Jack said pointing at the weapons.

Richard nodded and gave an order in Latin. You had to avoid harming them, but they shouldn't follow us. That was what he said.

-What's happening? Where are you taking them?-It was Kate with her infernal questions and need to actively participate in everything. Juliet understood that she tried her best but she knew the results. All her actions annoyed Juliet.

-It's okay, Kate. I think, there is no need to worry.-Jack tried to soothe her.

Juliet again thought that it was strange that he didn't look for answers. It could mean only one thing. He already knew the truth.

-No need to worry?-Kate seemed to be agitated even more after Jack's words.-Do you really think that he is okay?-She pointed at Sawyer, who sat on the log motionlessly, then dropping his head to his chest.-He looks like was drugged. And you know they could do such a thing.-

-Sawyer-she went to him and touched his arm trying to get his attention.

Juliet was annoyed with Kate's actions but even she couldn't anticipate James' reaction. He flinched and jerked his hand away in disgust. His eyes were so full of anger and hate that Kate rushed away in horror. She was moving backwards slowly, but at the same time she still looked into his eyes, as if there was some magnet which held her, not giving her the opportunity to turn her eyes away.

Everybody stopped in their tracks scared too much to do anything. They were frightened that he would look at them as he was looking at Kate now.

It seemed that hours passed though really it was only a few seconds, when Juliet stepped forward and called him. After all, it was James and she was sure that he would never hurt her. He turned to her and out of the corner of her eye Juliet saw that Kate had collapsed to the ground. Only in that moment did she realize that his visual contact wasn't harmless. It appeared James could be dangerous now, but she still didn't fear. It wasn't him, it was the darkness inside him, and she was sure that together they could manage to defeat it.

Their eyes met. His eyes were full of threat and spite. Her eyes were full of love and tenderness. There was still that hypnotic glance but now it acted in reverse. Without losing contact Juliet was coming nearer to James and he was calming down slowly. It seemed her love melted his anger and now there was only a weak worn man in front of them. No threat. No danger.


	15. Chapter 15

They sat on the log, her hand lay tenderly on his back. No one dared to come near them. The Others looked at James in horror, as if he was the Devil incarnate. The rest of the castaways didn't look at him at all, preoccupied with their conversation with Richard. Of course James and Juliet were the main topic of that conversation.

Juliet tried to sort out the situation, to understand what could be the cause of such strange behavior. It seemed that for a few moments James had regained all his strength, and even more. Deep in her gut, she didn't believe Jacob's words but now it became obvious that he was right. There was something dark inside James, and it kept struggling with him for control. Juliet shuddered at the thought that such an event could happen again. She needed to understand what caused it, the sooner the better. Maybe it was all because of his emotions. What kind of feelings could Kate have provoked? It was obviously not joy (as it was with Hurley). It also wasn't love or fear (as it was with herself in the cave). Then what could it be?

It must be something dark, to give his opponent such an advantage. Then it hit her – anger. Maybe she wasn't the only one Kate annoyed. But it meant that every dangerous situation could cause it and this Island was full of danger.

Now she understood why Jacob was so adamant about them leaving the Island. She absolutely agreed with his decision and she wasn't going to waste time.

As she stood up to go to Richard, he caught her hand. She looked at him worryingly. There was a mute look of concern. He didn't trust himself anymore.

He was afraid that he couldn't manage him alone. He needed her. All of it was in his gesture. She couldn't push him away, so she sat down and called to Richard.

-You can discuss all of this later. We should go on.- She said in Latin.

Richard nodded and turned back to the others, ending their conversation.

-It's time to continue our trip-she said calmly, returning her attention to James.-Do you think you are capable?-

She asked him half in jest, but considering the previous events she had to ask.

-I have enough energy, not only for this trip but also for something else-He smiled at her playfully.-So I hope you won't be too tired after our walk.-

…

They had to go. It meant leaving their friends, but even that wouldn't stop her. It wasn't as if she didn't care about them, but protecting James was her priority. And on top of it all, what could she tell them? She could imagine Miles' and Jin's reaction if she told them the truth, which was that they had to stay on the Island, because Jacob said so. It seemed that there was a chasm between them, the same one that separated the four of them from the Oceanic six. It was the saddest part because Jin and Miles became her brothers.

After making sure that James was ready to go, she turned to look at them for one last time. Most of survivors were deep in an argument with Richard, but not Jin and Miles.

"Family. We could always feel each other.", - Juliet smiled watching them coming nearer.

-What is with this mysterious look?-Miles began speaking.-Don't tell me that you two are going to leave-he chuckled at his joke.

-Ok, I won't tell this.-she tilted her head smiling at him and then added more seriously.-We can't stay here.-

-What?-Miles wasn't ready for this answer.-Wait! Are you serious? You're really going to take off? How could it be?-

Watching Miles being stunned was an unmatched pleasure. Juliet didn't have to look at James to know that he was trying to keep himself from laughing.

-Yes. I'm serious. We're leaving. I don't know yet how we will go, but Richard will know. Did I answer all your questions?- Juliet said in a plain voice, which startled Miles even more. He stood silently trying to understand what he heard a moment before.

-Does it have to do with his condition?-Jin asked. As always, he spoke little but straight to the point.

Juliet nodded.

-It is dangerous for him to stay here.- She didn't know how to explain the situation, but Jin understood her.

-Be careful- Jin hugged her and Sawyer.

-You too. - That was all she managed to say, struggling with tears.

-As I can see you already passed from words to parting embraces. Where are my hugs and kisses? – Miles found his tongue and went to Juliet.

-Hold back, Enos. She's out of your league.-James snarled. It was their perpetual fight.

-Ok, boss. Let's just pretend we're parting.-

He went to James and hugged him, too.

-Take care of her or I'll escape and take her away from you.-He winked Juliet.

-I hope we'll see soon-Juliet said and the men nodded.

…

They were more than an hour away from the place where they saw the friends for last time, and there was still no sign of their destination. Juliet began doubting whether there was really some way off the Island. Was Richard just going to take them deep in jungle and kill them?. Could that be counted as leaving the Island?

Thankfully her fears were unfounded. They approached a volcano at the foot of which was a tower.

-What is it?-It seemed it wasn't the first time Juliet asked this question.

-It's your way off the Island.-

-Really?- James hemmed.-Right from the middle of the Island?-

He was weak and worn, but he still had his common sense.

-If you were at the Orchid station, you would be fine with the travel right from the middle of the Island.- Richard answered indifferently and turned to Juliet.

-This is our last meeting, so you have to remember what I say. First, you should hold onto each other during the travel or I can't guarantee you safety. Second, you should be ready to find yourself at in the middle of nowhere, rather than in a large city. I don't know whether exactly you will go.-

-Wait there. You mean we might go to the desert or to the North Pole to get out of here?.-

-All I know is that the place won't be too far away from the civilization. So considering your experiences it shouldn't be difficult for you to survive there. Third, whatever happens you shouldn't return here. Ever. It would be perfect if you'd forget about this place and start your life again. -

-What should we tell about our past? Where was I those six years? How did it happen that not only the Oceanic six survived the crash?-Juliet asked. She dreamed about this minute for so long but now she was aware that their returning to 'normal' life wouldn't be easy.

-I don't think that creating a fictitious back story will be problem for you. Goodbye!-

Richard turned and walked away.

-Well-Juliet said eventually-Guess there will be no going away party. Not that I ever expected it. I'd just hoped that we'd finally manage to leave the Island.-

-We'll do that- he assured her.-Let's go?-He smiled at her and grabbed her hand.

-Yes-she squeezed his hand and they entered the tower.

The End.

* * *

**A/N:** Here is the end of this story, at least what I initially planned to be an end. Thank you for reading and reviewing. It was a pleasure to write for you and to read your comments. Tell me if you'd like to read about their life on the mainland and what exactly you'd prefer.


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